Quintus in suo horto erat. asunum Quinti quoque in horto erat. Asinus erat malus. Quintus asinum suum arbori ligavit. Asinus tristis erat.

subito, Quintus in navis erat. Quintus in prora navis stavit et clamavit magna voce, “rex mundi sum!”

Leonardus DiCaprius adveniit et dixit, “eheu! meum dictum est!”

Quintus iratus erat et dixit, “i ad tartarus!” Leonardum DiCaprium fuste pulsavit.

Leonardus DiCaprius in puppis cubabat et sanguinem dabat. lente stavit et circumspectavit. non Quintum viduit. e navis exiit et ad villam suam claudicavit. sed homicida malus in villa Leonardi DiCaprii erat et magnum cultrum habuit. Quintus quoque in villa erat et magnum fustem habuit. homicidam necavit et cultrum capit.

Leonardus DiCaprius villam intravit et circumspectavit. non Quintum viduit. Quintus e obscuritam venit et Leonardum DiCaprium transfixit. multus sanguis fluit.

Alibi in urbs, asinum Quinti se laxabat. asinus iratus erat. ad villam Leonardi DiCaprii iit. villam intravit et Quintum viduit. Asinus longum funim portabat. Quintum arbori ligavit et dentes morduit. Quintus clamavit, “heus! furcifer! asinus malus es!”

Leonardus DiCaprius non mortuus erat. cultrum e pecti sibi lente et dolenter extraxit et ad asinus repit. se sublevat et asinum necavit. Leonardus DiCaprius Quintum liberavit.

“gratias tibi ago, Leonarde DiCaprie.” dixit Quintus.

“meus amicus esne?” Leonardus DiCaprius rogavit.

“sic, amici sumus.” Quintus responduit.

“bonum.” Leonardus DiCaprius dixit et morit.

A Translation:

Quintus was in his garden. His ass was also in the garden. The ass was evil. Quintus tied his ass to a tree. The ass was sad.

Suddenly, Quintus was in a ship. He stood in the bow of the ship and shouted very loudly, "I'm the king of the world!"

Leonardo DiCaprio came along and said, "Hey, that's my line!"

Quintus was mad and he said, "Go to hell!" Then he hit Leonardo DiCaprio with a club.

Leonardo DiCaprio lay on the poop deck bleeding. He got up slowly and looked around. He didn't see Quintus. He left the ship and hobbled back to his house. But there was an evil murderer in the house and he had a large knife. Quintus was also in the house and he had a large club. He killed the murderer and took his knife.

Leonardo DiCaprio went into the house and looked around. He didn't see Quintus. Quintus came out of the darkness and stabbed Leonardo DiCaprio. Much blood flowed.

Elsewhere in the city, Quintus's ass untied himself. The ass was angry. He went to Leonardo DiCaprio's house. He went into the house and saw Quintus. The ass was carrying a long rope. He tied Quintus to a tree and bit him. Quintus shouted, "Ouch! Scoundrel! You're an evil ass!"

Leonardo DiCaprio was not dead. He slowly and painfully extracted the knife from his chest and crawled towards the ass. He drew himself up and killed the ass. Then he freed Quintus.

"Thank you, Leonardo DiCaprio," said Quintus.

"Are you my friend now?" asked Leonardo DiCaprio.

"Yes, we're friends," Quintus responded.

"Good," Leonardo DiCaprio said, and he died.