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The Sad, Sad Life of Princess Eadgyth

Once upon a time, there was a fairly plain-looking princess named Eadgyth who lived in a rather ordinary castle in Cornwall with her husband Prince Giric, who was the handsomest man in all of England.

One morning Giric decided that he didn't love Eadgyth anymore, so he banished her to Scotland. In Scotland, she met a nice young boy named Aed. Aed was sixteen, and though Eadgyth was rather plain-looking for a princess, Aed thought she was the hottest piece of ass in all of Ayrshire, which she was. Anyway, Aed fell in love with her, and she agreed to marry him, even though she was nearly twice his age.

They got married the next month and Aed built a fine house for them out of rocks and sticks. Aed and Eadgyth lived happily there for five years, but then Aed decided that he was the handsomest man in all of Scotland, and, perhaps even all Britain, so he told Eadgyth she was no longer good enough for him and kicked her out.

Eadgyth was devastated, and she searched everywhere for another man to marry, but she was now much too old, so she went back to Giric's castle in Cornwall and pleaded with him to take her back. Giric took her hand gently and kissed it, then he looked lovingly into her eyes. Eadgyth began to weep, and Giric picked her up and threw her out the window, whence she fell to her death.

The End.